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I suppose you’d call it socially.”“Sounds ominous.”“Not really, but four months is a long time and a lot has happened.”John got a couple of whiskies for them and settled down to listen.“You have some very nice and very good friends, John. A few days after you went, Susan and Jessica turned up on the doorstep and invited me to join them for a drink and then on to a hotel for some clubbing.”“Yes,” said John thoughtfully. “That’s Sue all right, but she’s usually got some nefarious plan going!”“Quite right, I’m sure she had, but her invitation was genuine and they really looked after me. We had a great time. The hotel is very nice – run by friends of yours? Ryan and Karen Frinton?”“Not my friends,” John said. “Friends of Susan and Carol. By the way how’s Carol? Settled with her new man?”Tracy’s face dropped, and John misinterpreted it.“Surely not married? Engaged?”“John,” she said with some annoyance. “Tell me. This top secret job of yours: how long was it really top secret?”John was. ”“Excuse me? What did you say?”“Penis Van Lesbian”“You CAN’T have a name like THAT in show business.” The agent replied.“Penis Van Lesbian is a long respected name where I come from, and I will NOT change it!” As he stormed out the door in a huff.The agent soon forgot the would be actor and went on about his business. 20 years later, he recieved an envelope in the mail, containing $10,000 and a note...The note said,“Dear Sir,A long time ago you gave me some advice, and to my shame I walked out on you. I soon learned that you were right, and I changed my name and actually became fairly successful.I regret not taking your advice when offered. Since it worked well enough, I have enclosed what I believe would have been your commission.Sincerely,Wait for it...Dick Van DykeThree Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, “However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven.”The first guy comes up to the gate and says, “I never, ever.
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